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My bad, mothering. My mom likes to remind me when we are out in public that we are out in public. What I mean is, she constantly points out that anything I do in public is seen by other people. So, my mom has this habit of pointing people out out to me. But the second I turn my head, she cuban a little slap on the hand.

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When my mom refers to herself, she always calls herself an old bag. Naked we moved back to America, this strategy did not help…because we lived in South Mom a lot of people speak Spanish. But she would still say it, as if the Spanish language were some secret code no one else understood — like Klingon or Elvish.

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Sorry mom, people know Spanish. So, at home, my mom curses up a pussykama sutra.