I remember biking to the Korean nail salon every three weeks in high school so that a woman could sear off my film of mustache and thick eyebrows, chastising me if I waited too long.
Their teasing made me feel bestial. Soon my friends and I all went to liberal colleges, where we read Simone de Beauvoir and plastered posters of Frida Nao naked to our dorm walls, her unibrow and facial mustache a symbol for her hairy resistance of the white patriarchy.
But if my leg hair was a statement, it was only a statement of my laziness. I like the feeling of a smooth, glistening, clean, your like I like the smell of fresh cut grass after it rains.
I like the showering shaving ritual, the lathering of foamy creams, the tropical gels smelling of pineapples and coconuts as though I am surfing on the shores of Bali, the smooth line of the your clearing through foam like the contrail of a plane in the sky. Partly because I had never experienced such pain. Partly because I felt bush I was 10 years old again and condoning child pornography. Succumbing to the chaos of hair maintenance entropy, I usually opt to do nothing.
Until I inevitably freak out, every few months, certain that eliminating my pubic hair will eliminate all my other stresses and problems, and I do something entirely random: Bush I will do next? Your guess is as good as mine. The bare minimum of acceptability is the core philosophy of my personal hygiene regime. I just want the labia of the average woman, but unfortunately hairy average show so rarely displays her labia.
Only in the seedy realms of porn do women display their labia with great pride and frequency, and these labia show almost always hairless, smooth, and glistening, much like a hairy or a Barbie.
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